But — the Day After the High

 

 I could hardly wait for Hugh to get up that morning so I could tell him the exciting news. My “feel good” serotonin levels were dancing around on a crazy high, and I was walking in a cloud. (while my poor porridge burnt on the stove)

The goal had seemed almost impossible, unachievable by any realistic standard, and yet we had made it. Yes, I did know it was God: His timing, His direction, His leading in all of it. But I was experiencing the euphoria.

Our book, The HughNeelands Story, had reached #1 in two categories on Amazon's “Hot New Releases.” Sales had been doubling every day for the last three or four days, and now it was rated below #4ooo in Amazon’s over all book rating out of millions of books.

A couple of years earlier, my book The Path He Chose for Me had made it to #14 on one of the same Hot New Releases categories on Amazon, and it had given me a high. I had hoped to see Hugh’s book get an even better rating, but to rise to #1 was barely even a dream. Now it was a reality.

But the real reality stepped in the next day. My serotonin was demanding more excitement. I checked the Amazon stats. It was already down a bit in one of the Hot New Releases categories, and it had gone over 8000 in overall book ratings. Of cource, that was still amazing, but not as good as the day before. And not good enough to create the high my emotions craved. The book fluctuated between #1 and #20 or more for several days and so did my serotonin levels before dropping almost out of sight.

Meanwhile plans for Hugh's birthday party/book launch were well under way. Some had bought the book on Amazon and were bringing it to be signed. Others were picking one or more up at the party. We were building to another high. 

After an afternoon of signing books and meeting people enthusiastic about the book, we were both soring. It had been another high for us. But now that is over and again reality has set in, and with it the craving for another high. It always happens. 

In The Hugh Neelands Story, Hugh shares his battle with his alcoholic addiction. But there are so many different kinds of serotonin related addictions that most of us have in our lives, whether it is the need for the lift of a chocolate bar, or the buzz that comes with the applause after a good performance. We can easily allow our lives to be ruled by our cravings for "highs."

Whether we are writers, preachers, entertainers, or just ordinary people interacting on Amazon, we need to be aware of what is driving us. God gave us serotonin, and He gives us mountain top experiences to go with it. But He also gave us the cool quiet valleys to explore and go deeper into Him.

Let Jesus be your “high” as He helps you to bring joy to others, but let Him walk with you through all the valleys as well.

Valleys can be beautiful!

For the last post see: Do we need to look back on the sad parts of our Journey?

I Can and I Will if it is God's Will

 “I can't do this!” I muttered. I wanted to shout it out, but my upbringing had given me a strong aversion to use that negative phrase. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” must have been my parents favorite verse of scripture. Still, I couldn't help thinking “I can't!” out loud.

A few days earlier I had won second prize in a competition, a consultation to have my Website revamped, but all I had was a blog, not a proper website. I had tried once or twice before but had never been able to set up a website for myself.

Now was a good time to try once more, but before long I was ready to shut my laptop and walk away from Word Press for good, even though I had paid for a year's subscription. It was way different from Blogger. I couldn't get anywhere. I kept getting lost in the different settings.

Before long, I was ready to give up not only setting up a web page, but also doing anything that required any kind of brain power. Was I out of my mind to think that I could write another book? I really wanted to write Hugh's story, and he certainly was looking forward to it, but I am nearly 73 years old. My brain is obviously not as young as it used to be, and I have noticed that nasty brain fog frequently threatening to creep in and steal my clarity of thought.

But “no!!” I will not listen to that negativism, even if it is just in my mind. I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me! As long as it is His will, He will give me the grace and wisdom to do it. It will not be me, it has never been me. If He wants me to write Hugh's story, it will happen His way and in His timing. If He wants me to have an author website it will happen, otherwise there is no point in trying to set it up.

I will not fret about it. I will not beat myself up over my inability to do something that was never really one of my God-given gifts.

My consultation got postponed today because I had trouble getting on Zoom for the call. I will wait and see what the Lord wants for me in the mean time.

For the previous post see: Blew it again

Divine Encounter Surprise

 

“That's you!” I whispered, trying not to miss a single inflection. It had to be him. Nobody else could sing exactly like he could. We had turned on the radio for the first time in almost a year. Bill Murdoc was supposed to be talking about the crazy situation between the United Church of Canada and the Massie Church, on his talk show, but that didn't seem to be happening. A song came on, and I knew that I knew that voice.

Hugh wasn't so sure until he heard his name. “That was Massie's own Hugh Neelands!” Bill announced and then went on to explain that he had requested and had been given one of Hugh's Cds by Hugh's son a few years ago, but it didn't work for him in his truck, and then he had lost it, but he had just found it the day before, and decided to play it that day. He talked a bit about the days in the past when Hugh was a hit, singing in dance bands and how he now blessed many, volunteering his services singing at nursing homes.

Now I do not believe in mere coincidence in relation to the Christian. Things don't just happen for no reason. There could only be one alternative. God must have had some purpose in mind when he nudged us to turn on the radio this morning.

The night before, I had been contemplating the book Hugh and I were preparing to put together. After I finished my own story, The Path He Chose for Me, I had suggested that we start working on one about Hugh. It would be fun just letting him reminisce, and hearing his stories.

We had already had a few of those sessions but I still had no idea how I would begin. Then last night I remembered an incident that I knew I wanted to include, and now, with the help of the divine encounter on the Bill Murdoc show, something clicked in my mind, and I realized God had just given me the key I needed to put it all together.

I can't wait to see how God is going to weave this story together to bless the people who will someday read it.